He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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