When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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