Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
