she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
