i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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