We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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