Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
