I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
