i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You need Xanax blowdarts
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
