Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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