oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize