At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
