go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
