Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
