he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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