life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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