He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
