do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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