She is in my trunk
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
