Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
