I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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