Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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