Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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