I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
