Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
