Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
