Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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