the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We smell like vodka and hangover
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
