You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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