it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
