you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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