i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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