just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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