I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
