It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
