please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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