my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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