we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
