So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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