Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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