she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
