once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
