so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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