yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
did i just pee glitter
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
