That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
