We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
