apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
