Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
