I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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