did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think my moral compass just broke
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize