Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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