their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
