Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
