she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize