your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
