I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
