Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
