Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
