My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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