is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
