the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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