i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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