his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
