Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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