Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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