Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize