you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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