I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
