they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i think my cat just said my name.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
