im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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