They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
