her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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