NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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